Beat

What am I doing now, what am I thinking, I just don't know yet, I never knew maybe.
The only thing that I know is that I'm steadily trying to open my mind
I'm trying to think positive, in every moment, every situation that arises in front of me.

When I see that something inside me is moving on, when I feel anger comes up, I just close my eyes, take a deep breath and I Think, I say to myself, inside me, that everything it's ok, that it does't worth it, That I just have to think positive, because negative thoughts never bring good thinks, so...

Recently I'm trying a new way for calm down myself, because I know that something is wrong with me, so I must have to control myself in some situations, 'cause always I feel very sick and sad and depressed when I calm down and realize that there was nothing to worry about, so the way is that when there is something that scared me or when I feel a wall in front of me, a big wall that I can't climb, I try to do exactly the opposite of what I normally know that I would have done.

In other words I run against my own fears and anxiety, slam my head against these things, without think about it, I just do it when I know that there is the right moment to do it.

Maybe it's too early for decide if this is the solution of all, but since now, I feel that people around me have appreciated this..

I feel  like free, I feel like my monsters are going away from my mind, I feel like I can beat them.